Say what you want about Ray J, however the rapper has ruthless model self-discipline.
The 45-year-old has lengthy been outlined by his notorious intercourse tape with Kim Kardashian, and now he appears to have totally dedicated himself, reasonably than turning away from that legacy.
His newest declare – that he has slept with 12,500 folks – is actually an escalation, however on no account a inventive departure, for a person who has clearly way back given up attempting to flee the shadow of his personal penis.
The singer made the revelation on Cam Newton’s Funky Friday podcast, a very mind-bending dialog that requested the query, “Does Ray J know the way to depend?” and second, “Does Ray J know what intercourse is?” Is he complicated it with shaking palms?’
Newton then foolishly tried to use primary math to the scenario, and that is the place issues bought… philosophical. What really is a quantity?
First, Ray J tried to clarify that when he crossed the ten,000 mark – his unique aim – he celebrated with a “booby lure” occasion attended by 400 to 500 of his intercourse companions.
“You are speaking about totally different companions?” Newton then requested.
“These are 10,000 totally different folks,” Ray J clarified.
“You stated 11,” Newton responded in a second of hard-hitting journalism, referencing an announcement Ray J made previous to the podcast.
“It is at 12,500 now, however I wished to go to 11,” Ray J defined, seemingly unconcerned as a result of 12,500 is an even bigger quantity than 11,000.
“I used to be assured 10. I did not need to be at 9,000, however I wished to be at 11. Then…we went to 10. I simply wished to verify I used to be over.”
That is when the attentive listener started to appreciate that it is not that none of this is smart, however that Ray J – ever a visionary – has his personal model of math, one by which 2,500 is an inexpensive margin of error on the subject of exceeding the goal variety of sexual companions.
Newton then requested the singer about his ‘common’, an idea that – it quickly turned clear – doesn’t exist in Ray J-nomics.
The previous NFL star tried to clarify the concept: “You are 45 now… in order that’s 30 years of sleeping with simply over a lady and a half a day.”
Lastly, the singer admitted his personal genius: “Sure, the maths is totally different.” We knew it!
He continued, “As a result of once we’re on tour, we’re occupied with 5 to 10 a day.”
Now, not like Ray J, I’m not a mathematician, however I’m somebody who has demonstrably postponed pressing appointments at varied occasions out of sheer unwillingness to take a look at my very own agenda. I’m subsequently assured that this raises logistical questions.
Time administration, for instance. Normal planning. Friction burns. Are there spreadsheets concerned? Is there a schedule? A reserving system? A ready listing? Who’re these ladies?
When you’ve ever tried to prepare a board recreation night time, you understand that it is virtually not possible to get 5 good associates to agree on a time, not to mention the principles of Monopoly.
So the thoughts actually begins to short-circuit when requested to imagine that Ray J has managed to coordinate 12,500, er, contributors in his, er, challenge. And even when 12,500 in Ray J’s quantity system equals a very totally different quantity than the quantity you and I exploit, it is nonetheless clearly a LOT of girls.
Which supplies me yet another working concept. And – like most issues on this planet if you consider it – it goes again to Kim Kardashian’s intercourse tape.
Perhaps what Ray J is providing these contributors is not a three-minute fumble on a bunk mattress on a tour bus, however an immersive expertise that was the results of successful film.
Consider these pop-up experiences that take over empty storefronts in your metropolis, promising to drop you into the world of your favourite film or collection. You stand in line, you overpay for a Squid Sport-themed cocktail, and you then’re led by means of a collection of doorways right into a rigorously constructed “universe.”
Take Jurassic World: The Expertise, which you most likely noticed ads for on public transportation. Friends are invited to “step by means of the enduring gates and take an unforgettable journey by means of a number of immersive zones.”
As a substitute of strolling by means of the gates to see monumental animatronic dinosaurs, 12,500 folks entered an ever-expanding cinematic universe based mostly fully on Ray J’s intercourse tape.
So not solely is Ray J one of many nice thinkers of our time, a person who fully reconceptualized the best way we quantify the world round us, he’s additionally a beneficiant inventive.
And but even essentially the most daring acts of efficiency artwork should come to an finish.
Animatronic dinosaurs should in the future discover themselves eternally immobile within the forgotten grave of a bankrupt firm’s warehouse, and Ray J should in the future spend a complete night along with his pants on.
On the finish of the podcast, Ray J, with an virtually pitiful tone of defeat in his voice, admitted to Newton that he will not attain Wilt Chamberlain’s variety of sexual companions (25,000 ladies).
In actual fact, he plans to dwell virtually celibate for the remainder of his life, solely having intercourse with… one other thousand folks.
“I can solely do a thousand extra,” he informed Newton, with an air of heavy defeat, not not like Frodo telling Sam midway up Mount Doom that he simply could not make it.
“I can not anymore.”
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