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If happiness feels elusive proper now, you’re not imagining it. Presently of 12 months, most of us are working in a relentless state of low-level overload – screens, notifications, comparability, financial strain – whereas being bought more and more unrealistic concepts of what “feeling good” is meant to seem like. The consequence? Happiness has grow to be one thing individuals really feel they’re failing at.
Jules Von Hep, confidence coach and creator of The Confidence Ritual, takes a really totally different method. After twenty years working within the magnificence trade – typically with individuals at their most susceptible, undressed in a sprig tan sales space – he’s much less all in favour of mindset hacks and much more all in favour of constant every day behaviours that, little by little, can change how we see ourselves and dramatically alter our self worth and happiness ranges.
“Confidence isn’t a persona trait,” he says. “It’s the way you deal with your self on an abnormal Tuesday. That is what I inform individuals who come to my occasions.”
After years of serving to individuals glow from the surface, Von Hep is now extra involved with serving to the UK discover its interior glow. He believes that confidence, gratitude and small every day wins often known as “glimmers” could make a much bigger distinction than any pattern or product. A former magnificence trade skilled and self tan model founder turned creator and sound healer, he has spent years serving to individuals really feel higher about themselves, not by altering their lives in a single day however by shifting the way in which they method the on a regular basis. Right here, he shares his sensible suggestions for beginning the 12 months with extra positivity and presence.
1. Begin with what feels good
Von Hep’s profession started nearly accidentally in magnificence and style, but it surely taught him an vital lesson: “If I’m doing one thing every single day, I have to get pleasure from it. In any other case, it doesn’t work.” In his guide he shares sensible tricks to establish methods to really feel happier and the way to change the state of affairs you’re in in order that it helps a extra assured model of your self.
“I made a decision to cease following the profession that I assumed I ought to have, and simply actually lean into what’s feeling good… what am I having fun with? Let’s preserve going. I at all times encourage individuals to do the identical. Cease for a second and take into consideration what you want in your life and what you need extra of.
Sensible tip: Deal with what’s already working in your day. Even small wins like ending a job, having a easy commute, having fun with a cup of espresso. Make an observation of this stuff and attempt to spend extra time doing them so that you just construct momentum from “completely satisfied duties” or “completely satisfied moments”.
2. Discover the ‘glimmers’
Von Hep additionally makes use of the idea of “glimmers” – an idea developed by Deb Dana in her guide The Polyvagal Idea in Remedy. Glimmers are the small, typically ignored moments of satisfaction or pleasure all through the day. They aren’t milestones, they’re the small print that make a day really feel lighter.
“One in every of my favourites is, in case you have a journey from A to B and it was seamless, there was no site visitors, no congestion… that’s one thing to be actually completely satisfied about. In case your favorite espresso comes with a small biscuit, oh, how beautiful. That’s a glimmer.
“Dwelling a life with glimmers has made me happier, and I do know it has a ripple impact out of my group… whenever you tune in and focus, you gained’t take them with no consideration.”
Sensible tip: Preserve a glimmer log. Take notes, pictures, and even screenshots of moments that make you are feeling good. On harder days, you’ll have the ability to look again and see that pleasure exists, even in small doses.
3. Reframe the way you see your self
Von Hep’s journey to confidence began by altering the way in which he handled himself: specializing in appreciation quite than flaws. He defined in an episode of the Nicely Sufficient podcast that after years of combating physique picture, he set himself a problem to “nourish, not punish” himself and to see himself by way of a unique lens.
“I realised that life doesn’t must be lived on this a technique that I used to be residing it. It’s not the panorama that modifications, it’s the point of view. I centered on what brings me interior pleasure. As an alternative of sporting garments to look a sure approach, I wore garments that made me really feel good and I ordered my favorite drink and loved my day.”
Sensible tip: Change one destructive thought with a impartial or constructive one every day. Discover the destructive thought and actively exchange it with one thing higher and kinder. Over time, these micro-adjustments shift your notion and enhance self-confidence.
4. Curate your vitality
Who you spend time with impacts temper and confidence. Von Hep explains that in your life there can be “vitality radiators” and “temper hoovers”. This goes for in individual and who you comply with and the content material you eat on-line.
He says: “The vitality radiators are individuals you’re excited to see and so they depart you feeling wonderful days after. Then you definately’ve bought the temper hoovers… who you dread. Life’s too quick. Folks fake it’s infinite but it surely’s actually too quick to spend with individuals who make you are feeling dangerous about your self. You management the scroll. If persons are making you are feeling good, interact with them. If not, unfollow or mute.”
Sensible tip: Audit your social {and professional} circles. Scale back time spent with individuals who constantly drain you, and search real-life and on-line communities that reinforce positivity. Create a feed or listing of accounts that train, encourage, or make you giggle. Your digital atmosphere ought to reinforce positivity, not undermine it.
5. Use music and motion intentionally
Von Hep swears by “kitchen raving” and says that when you put in your favorite music and dance, even whereas cooking or doing chores, it might immediately flush out destructive ideas and increase your temper.
“It sounds so easy, but it surely has this wonderful energy to make me really feel extra authentically myself and shake off destructive vitality. It’s in all probability why I turned a sound healer, I like the ability of music,” he says.
“I had a panic assault on a piece journey… I laid on the resort flooring, placed on my favorite music, and closed my eyes. That music pulled me out of that area. From then on, I realised music isn’t nearly efficiency, it’s about this interior, deeper self.”
Sensible tip: Schedule 5–10 minutes every day for aware motion to your favorite songs. Dance, stretch, or simply transfer across the room. Think about it a psychological reset quite than train and revel in transferring freely to no matter music you select.
6. Mix gratitude with consciousness
“Gratitude isn’t only a listing, it’s noticing what’s already in entrance of you” says Von Hep. “Except you’re grateful for what you’ve bought, you by no means actually learn to be within the current.”
He encourages utilizing glimmers and gratitude with on a regular basis consciousness and to take inventory of what you do have, quite than what you need or what different individuals appear to have.
“It’s very easy to be wealthy in a non-financial sense… The little issues matter.”
Sensible tip: Every night, be aware three issues that went properly. Embrace sensory particulars just like the scent of espresso, a smile from a good friend, daylight in your face. This strengthens your notion of constructive moments.
7. Make self-care sensible
Von Hep is important of the “poisonous wellness” tradition that guarantees immediate transformation: “A candle and a bubble bathtub aren’t going to alter your life. Consistency is what issues. Small actions make every day life extra manageable.”
He explains that self-care is vital however that it ought to be tangible and be much less about giving your self slightly deal with and extra about caring to your mind and physique every single day over the course of your life.
Sensible tip: Deal with habits that constantly enhance your wellbeing like ingesting water, strolling and writing in a gratitude journal, quite than chasing developments or merchandise.
8. Construct consistency by way of group
Whether or not on-line or in individual, Von Hep explains that common interplay with supportive individuals reinforces confidence and gratitude. Group is in his view an effective way to really feel higher about your self and really feel much less alone.
“Go to the identical class each week and chances are high another person will too. Friendships don’t occur in a single day, however it’s important to take steps to alter your atmosphere.”
Sensible tip: Commit to at least one weekly exercise the place you work together with like-minded individuals. This could be a run membership, a guide membership, a yoga class or a meet-up for individuals who like the identical hobbies that you just do. Over time, this publicity to group helps combine confidence and presence into every day life.
“It’s not about transformation. It’s about upkeep. Small actions make every day life extra manageable,” says Von Hep.
For 2026, that may imply holding a glimmer log, dancing within the kitchen, or prioritising interactions that elevate quite than drain you. These steps aren’t dramatic, however they compound. Over time, they create a basis of confidence and presence that may stick with you it doesn’t matter what life throws at you.
Learn extra: The science behind night time’s sleep, in keeping with each skilled I spoke to this 12 months
